Enough Grace For Today

I'm usually the type of person who wants to know all the details to whatever is going on so I can see the full picture. Otherwise known as a control freak. Why I'm this way I'm not a hundred percent sure. I have some guesses as to why, but in the end that doesn't change who I am. Usually if I have all the details I can make a thought through assumption as to what is going on or what is going to happen. I know assuming anything is not wise. If I have all the details as to what's going on in my children or husband's lives, I somehow think that everything will go better. Well, did that all change...

The past couple of years I've experienced a great deal of hurt and rejection from people that I love dearly. This post isn't about them, so please don't ask. Since I'm usually a person who wants to know all the details, you'd think knowing ahead of time everything that was going to happen would be beneficial for me. Well, actually it was quite the opposite. This has been one of those times where I am forever grateful to God, that in His wonderful mercy and grace, He spared sharing with me too many of the details. I'm sure He knew I wouldn't be able to handle the details, even though I was asking Him for them. I'm still on this journey, some healing has happened and some has not. I still look forward to the healing that's to come. I do however know now after looking back I probably would've ran if I had known all the details. I probably wouldn't have stuck around to see the healing. So since I tend to be a person who usually wants to know all the details, I also tend to be a person who usually "runs" when I don't know what else to do. Otherwise known as when I can't control the situation. Then there's God...

God in his perfect, compassionate heart knew that there were lessons my heart would never learn except to go through situations I had no control over. Now don't get me wrong. I don't believe for one minute that God marvels in people's hurts or rejections. I do however believe though that He chooses to use those times to bring glory to Himself and draw us closer to Him if we'll allow Him. As I mentioned earlier I am still on this journey of healing, but one thing that has stood out to me that I know I would not have learned except by walking through this pain, is that God is enough!!! Not just to say that God is enough, but to feel it down to my core that God is enough. That if the worst thing I could imagine possible came true, He would still be enough. That even if the healing I'm looking forward to this side of Heaven doesn't happen, He is still enough. I choose to praise Him and worship Him, even though I'm still longing for the rest of the healing. He is a good, good Father who I know without a doubt loves me for who He created me to be. His daughter! So what's next...

Don't be afraid to take off the mask. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to say no to things to focus on what matters most. Do however fix your eyes upon Jesus, learning in your heart and not just your mind, that He truly is enough!!!

A Different Kind Of Christmas This Year

I absolutely love this time of year. Getting to spend time with family & friends, buying that special gift for someone I love, eating yummy cut out cookies, decorating, and so much more. What I'm most thankful for this time of year is Jesus coming to earth in the form of a baby boy to live a life knowing He was going to die for my sins someday. Wow! I wasn't even born yet, but He loved me enough anyways to take my place & everyone else's on the cross. Best Christmas present ever!!! Remembering this helps keep things in the right perspective when circumstances around me go in ways I wouldn't have chosen.

I titled this a different kind of Christmas this year because in a lot of ways that is exactly what it is. It's still Christmas, but it's different. We have four foster blessings living with us this Christmas who are oh so excited about all the fun that goes with this time of year. They come from many not so happy memories, so we're trying to help change that for them. Our oldest daughter decided to live her life without us being a part of it and left our family last January. This will be our first Christmas since she came to live with us that she's not with us. This is hard! She's welcome to be and we want her to, but we can't force our way into anyone's life that doesn't want us there. I know God loves her even more than we do & I've really been trying this past year to leave her in His hands, but to be honest I'm struggling big friends. I want to see her besides on Facebook. I want to hug her and tell her I love her. But God... Through all this God has been & continues to teach my heart that He truly is enough. Sometimes I believe that more than other times. I'm still learning. So thankful my Teacher is patient with me. This journey of loss this past year has impacted our marriage as well. We've had to seek help where normally we could just figure it out between the two of us. We've chose to love even when we didn't feel like it or even liked the other person. We had to learn to show grace even when our flesh wanted to quit. We know the enemy wants nothing more than to destroy our marriage & family, because if that happened then our ministry to our children & all the children God brings into our home would be ineffective. Guess what? That's NOT going to happen. The enemy CANNOT have our marriage or our family. Greater is HE that lives within us, then he that is of this world. Jesus has already defeated the enemy. We can have HOPE because of Him!!!
This past week our second oldest daughter was involved in a serious car accident. Someone ran a stop sign and hit her on her driver's side door. Her car is totaled but PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY she is alive and well. Very sore, extremely sore, BUT alive!!!! I was thinking the morning after the accident how things could've went so differently. We could be planning a funeral this week instead of rejoicing that she is with us still. I don't take this lightly. I don't deserve His love & grace, but I'm so thankful God chose to spare her life Monday evening. Everytime I try to write about this the tears start coming again. This year has been so hard. But GOD... In His wonderful grace & mercy He met our daughter right where she was on Monday at 4:15pm and allowed her to walk away with pain & bruises, BUT LIFE!!!!! To God be the glory, great things He has done!!!!

So yes this Christmas is different this year. I'm still not done shopping, we haven't made all the goodies we usually do, I'm very tired, BUT... God is still good!!! I'll finish shopping eventually, our dear friends made plenty of goodies to share with us & even picked up groceries for us last night. I'll get sleep, but will continue to be tired because I'm a Momma, but that's ok. I get to be a Momma. I don't ever want to take that ministry lightly. My heart still longs for our oldest daughter to return, Christmas morning should be adventurous with four littles here this year, and I get to hug our other daughter and thank God again for allowing her to live. Christmas will be wonderful, not based on my circumstances, but because of JESUS!!!! Because of Jesus, no matter what we face, we're NEVER alone!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

My Neck, The Psalms, A Boot & A Head Cold

Rest...Relax...Refresh... Those are words that start with the letter R that are easier to say then to do. I speak from experience when I say that. I tend to be a go getter, list maker(and love checking things off), do it myself kindna girl. To be honest those character traits are not bad in themselves, BUT when I need to control those situations, there's where the trouble lies. This past year has defiantly been a year of learning, stretching and growing in my faith with God. Learning to relinguish control, stretching in asking for help instead of doing things myself and growing in knowing that God truly is Enough. I titled this blog, " My Neck, The Psalms, A Boot & A Head Cold," because those are just some of the ways God has spoke to my busy, controlling, overwhelmed heart about resting in Him. About six months or so ago I started having severe right neck pain. I tried all kinds of treatment that unfortunately didn't work. I currently am seeing a doctor to help keep it manageable. I started a Bible Study at Church this fall about Psalms 23. A Psalm that is so familiar to many, yet as we break down verse by verse my heart is opened up to a whole new understanding of Psalm 23 and resting in who God is. My left foot had been hurting me for several months and I finally had enough and went to get it checked out. Long story short, I ended up in a styling black boot because my foot is fractured. I have to rest(HaHa-9 people living in the home) and ask for help when I normally would just do the things myself. Including giving our three nine year old foster boys the opportunity to serve by folding laundry. The laundry looks like a hot mess but they're eager to help and I need the help right now. Shortly after I started sporting this lovely black boot my immune system decided it needed a rest as well in the form of attacking my body with a nasty head cold. I'm still getting over it as I type this blog. I say all that to encourage you to rest my friend. To rest physically, emotionally, and most of all spiritually. Resting in the One who really does have it ALL under control. Who loves us unconditionally and is FOR US. Who redeemed us and set us free from living in bondage. I'll be honest and admit I don't always handle this "resting period" in the best way, but I am thankful for the lessons God is teaching my heart through them.

Support Group

Friendly reminder that we meet the third Tuesday of each month from 6:30-8:30pm at Bethel Baptist Church in Savannah, Ohio. This is for Foster, Adoptive & Kinship caregivers. The exception being for the meeting in November we will be holding that at our home. Please feel free to contact us for more information about that if you're planning to attend November's meeting. We look forward to meeting you!

They're Ultimately His~

One of the most profound quotes I have ever read as a Momma. Little did I know that when I saved this quote around a year and a half ago that God would use it today to speak Truth to this Momma's heart. I don't know about you but I tend to be a control freak kindna momma. I want to know where my children are, who their with, what their eating, when they'll be home,etc... I also want to spend as much time with them as possible. I'd choose less money anyday over missing out on memories with my children. That's priceless in my book! Through the years I have learned lessons along the way about surrendering my children to the Lord and knowing that ultimately they are His. I've said goodbye countless times to foster children that God placed in our home for a season. My heart aches when they leave and sometimes I literally just crawl up in a fetal position and pour my tears out to a big God that can handle my human emotions. Then He picks me back up and speaks Truth to my heart about what He has called me to do, strengthening me for the next children He will bring. A child that needs me to be willing to sacrifice having a broken heart for them to know about Jesus and make wonderful memories in their childhood. To really know they're loved and wanted despite their circumstances. I do not take this calling lightly but consider it an act of worship to my Savior.
Back to the quote above. This quote is something God has recently asked me to do in a full surrender way with one of my children. As much as we can love someone we cannot make them accept that love or want that love. I found that my efforts of trying to pursue my child's heart, and receiving rejection upon rejection were not only taking an emotional toll on me by a physical toll on my body as well. That's when God started pressing on my heart even more to give my child back to Him, this time in full surrender. Holding nothing back. At first I questioned God wondering if He was really asking me to do this. I am this child's mother. Shouldn't I keep pursuing them at all costs? The answer is no. God has been showing me that all my children are His anyways and even when this one child is choosing to reject our love He is still enough to not only meet my child's needs but mine as well. He is perfectly able to put the people in their path that they need to speak Truth to their heart. As my heart started to embrace this more I started to feel a burden I had been carrying lifted. You see I wasn't suppose to be carrying this burden in the first place. I'm so thankful God revealed His Truth to me about that. So with God's strength I surrendered my child to Him. Praying and waiting for the day Lord willing that my prodigal will come home. When that day comes I will be here with open arms.

God doesn't waste our pain

I've yet to meet someone who is excited when suffering comes their way. It's quite the opposite feeling actually. It's very easy to resort inward and feel like you're all alone when you're hurting. It's like the whole world continues to move on and you're stuck right there in this pit you can't seem to get out of. Suffering shows its ugly face in so many different ways. Unfortunately we don't get to pick, although I'm not sure any of us are wanting to, but we do get to choose how we respond. 

Recently suffering knocked on our family's door. Something so unexpected we never seen it coming. As awful as physical suffering can be, mental suffering is no walk in the park. Rejected by someone you love so dearly cuts right through your heart like a sharp knife. So many emotions surface during our times of suffering. Sadness, anger, mourning, questioning, and so many more. Some days you feel like you can handle this and other days you can barely breathe. One thing I have learned through my thirty-eight years of life is that God does not waste our pain.

One of my dearest friends sent me a devotional during my time of suffering that encouraged me to look for God in my circumstances. When we're hurting it does not come natural to look for the positives but instead to focus on the negatives. Things out of our control. I chose to take my friend's advice and stopped and verbally said out loud the areas where I could see God at work in my suffering. There was actually quite a few areas. Of course I would never have originally signed up for rejection from someone I love to the point I would die for, but I am not responsible for their actions. I am however responsible for how I respond. Even in my suffering I can be obedient to God. I can look for Him working in my life and in my family's lives. As much as I wouldn't have chose this, being on this side of it, I wouldn't go back and change it. Some lessons are taught best during times of desperation where we relinquish all control and surrender at the feet of Jesus. 

Our pain is not over. Our loved one continues to reject us, but we have chosen to look for God in our pain. To obey even when our flesh doesn't feel like it. To continue to love even though rejection may knock on our door again. To choose intimacy with Christ over comfort and to never give up on looking forward to the day our loved one comes home.

Birthday party, Accusations, and Miracles from God!!!!!!!

If you would've told me a month ago that the events that went down in our house last night would happen, I would've told you that you were crazy. I write this blog not to boast but to encourage others that when we surrender our will to God's will, miracles really do happen.

Last evening we had the privilege of celebrating our foster daughter's 16th birthday. Knowing that this was a very special birthday & the teen years are hard enough, without adding being in foster care, God laid it on my heart to invite her momma. For some of you reading this & not knowing our story you may be thinking that's not a big deal. Let me back up a bit.

A lot of times in foster care, not always though thankfully, we're looked at as the bad guys that are trying to take away the birth parent's children. The birth parent's usually seemed threatened by us even if we try to come across in a friendly manner. For months our foster kiddos birth momma has had a very negative attitude towards us to the point of trying to find something wrong with us at each weekly visit. More energy was spent on tearing us down then doing what needed to be done to get her children back home with her. The situation escalated to the point of accusations made from her accusing us of abusing her children. There was even a court date to discuss these accusations. Needless to say nothing came from it because the children are safe and no abuse has ever happened. My flesh was raging with anger. How dare someone accuse us of abuse when all we're trying to do is help them out by taking care of and loving on their children while they get the help they need. Then there's God...

At a meeting we were all at my flesh was all ready to put up a fight to protect myself and my family. What I didn't realize going into that meeting though that God was going to do a 360 on my heart and allow me to see this momma as a broken individual that needed Him. He even allowed me to compliment her. What? Compliment someone who has accused me of abusing her children. Dear friends, when God gets a hold of our hearts, miracles happen in such ways that we cannot even fathom in our earthly minds. Ever since that meeting God has been putting a desire in my heart to build a relationship with this momma. Fast forward now back to last evening...

We got permission to invite her to our foster daughter's birthday party. The excitement on our foster daughter's face when she saw her momma was worth it all. She screamed and ran and gave hugs. I could tell as the evening went on how thankful she was to have her momma there. Her little brother even got to be fed by her momma and they sat around our dining room table eating and talking together. For someone who has control issues, aka me, God really helped me to take a step back and relinguish control and just be present in a different role that evening. Opening our home to ministry to allow healing to begin in relationships.

Once again I write this to encourage you, not to be boastful. Wherever you are at in your walk with the Lord remember He is a God that still performs miracles. Don't give up! Surrendering your will to His, will prove to be one of the best decisions you will ever make.

Expectations!

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend a foster & adoptive momma's retreat at Beulah Beach in Vermilion, Ohio. To describe this weekend as amazing would be an understatement. In order to fully grasp the magnitude of the weekend, you had to be there.
 Some of my favorite times during the weekend were when around 100 of us momma's were in a room together singing praise & worship songs to Jesus with freedom to fully surrender ourselves, our agendas & not care if someone raised their hands, danced, sat in awe of their Creator or whatever else they chose to do. It was like we were before the throne of God in that very room. Probably one of the closest feelings to what Heaven will be like that I've ever experienced. Another one of my favorite things was walking by the water & breathing in God's beautiful Creation. The wind blowing a cool breeze, the sun shining down on us & the sound of the waves hitting against the rocks by the shore. Relaxing to say the least.
We were challenged throughout the weekend through different speakers. Our main speaker, Beth Guckenberger, shared something that really stood out to me & made a huge impact in my life. She said, "Expectations are premeditated assumptions." It's always a privilege to go away for a retreat & be challenged to be the woman, wife & momma God has called me to be, but sometimes it can be hard adjusting back into reality. Us momma's were on cloud 9 this weekend, but our families back home were having a normal weekend like any other. They didn't sit under the worship we did or hear the teachings we heard. We needed to be careful not to return home & expect things from our families that were unrealistic. Now I will say my hubby is amazing at giving me the freedom to go away, relax & do what I need to do to be the woman, wife & momma God has called me to be. He never makes me feel guilty while I am away & he runs our house like a well oiled ship in my absence. Our daughter, Sarah, could also run the house from top to bottom in my absence & does an outstanding job at it. She's going to be a wonderful wife & mother someday, Lord willing. But even with my crew being in full support of me going away they did not experience the same weekend I did & I needed to be careful not to come home & vomit(share what I learned) all over them all at once. I learned it in stages & I've learned it is best if I share it in stages to my people.
So going home I changed my mindset in the way I would normally think about things heading home from my time away. Instead of dwelling on if the house would be clean, if they started a new project or if they would understand how incredibly awesome my weekend was, I dwelt on going home & loving my people. Loving them right where they were & serving them with a grateful heart for the privilege of being their wife & momma. I told myself there's always the next day to clean things up, but for today love my people. I will say this was probably the easiest transition to getting back to reality from a trip away & it had so much to do with not having unrealistic expectations, but focusing on what's most important. People, not stuff.

Thoughts about slowing down & thankfulness!!!

 I don't need to tell you how busy & chaotic life can be. You already know it because you're living it as well. Of course some days are busier than others, but all in all we live in a too fast paced society that needs to slow down. Much of that is to our own choosing but somethings just happen because of the day & age we live in. I think we need to be more deliberate about scheduling times with a friend to chat over coffee or tea, to relax & read a good book, to take a walk & breathe in the goodness of God's beautiful Creation.
 I have found the older I get I like to move slower in the mornings. Not just physically, haha, but mentally. I purposely moved furniture around this past weekend(with the help of Noah) so I could have a table & chairs on my front porch to enjoy my coffee on & do my devotions after dropping the kids off to school. I realize that not all mornings can or will go that way but the ones that do I thoroughly enjoy and am thankful for.
 I've also realized the older I get to take the time to find something to be thankful for no matter how hard or wonderful my day went. Somethings might even sound silly that we're thankful for, but I still think it's important to think on thankfulness instead of everything that didn't go the way we would've liked that day. For example during James' surgery I was thankful for the cute coffee stand at Akron Children's hospital. I could enjoy a white chocolate mocha as I waited to hear about James. During my foster kiddos visit with their family I sometimes walk around the thrift store next door & am thankful for cheap little treasures to brighten our home. Even more important than things are people. Awhile back I was emotionally in a hard situation about one of my kiddos. I made one phone call to my parents & they came to serve us & love on us. That is defiently something to be thankful for. This past Sunday Pastor Sam preached a sermon on the fear of the Lord. Wow, is an understatement. He was an open vessel for God to speak through. In all my years of life I had never heard the fear of the Lord explained in such a way that spoke such Truth to my heart. I am thankful that God's Word is still alive & shaping & molding our hearts regardless of our age.
So what will you choose to do this week to slow down? I'm heading to the library later to pick out another great book from Francine Rivers. Who will you schedule to have coffee or tea with just to chat & catch up? I really need to do this too. What will you find to be thankful for today, tomorrow & each day after that? Today I am thankful for you dear reader. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read what God has laid on my heart to share.

College & Diapers...And Everything In Between!!!

It's always interesting to see where we end up from where we start. Plans we have for our lives. Some of those plans coming into fruition, while other plans are put aside & forgotten. At this stage in my life I don't think I ever planned to have two kiddos heading to college & changing diapers still on another little kiddo in our home all in the same time period. I love how we can have our whole lives planned out and then...There's God!!! I remember the ache in my heart for the two kiddos we have living with us now when I heard they needed a home. Both were ages we were not considering(teenager & infant) at the time because of our current family dynamics. What in the world were we thinking starting all over again with bottles & diapers all along helping our oldest two apply to colleges, visit campuses and finish their high school years out well. To be honest there are still days I wonder what have I gotten myself into, but then... There's God!!! He gently prods my heart and reminds me about eternity. About how His ways & plans are so much better than anything I could ever think up for myself or my family. He reminds me "I get" to do this mom thing... What a blessing it is & what a roller coaster it is as well between 2 starting college(one moving out, one commuting), 2 playing football, 1 starting a new school(high school in that), 1 learning to walk, 1 having surgery next week, several appointments on top of appointments, 2 visiting bio families(which stirs up all kinds of emotions) & getting to celebrate 20 years of marriage this fall with my high school sweetheart & best friend! So maybe life has taken me on some different paths than I would've originally planned for myself or my family. But that's ok, because... There's God!!! I pray I always have an open & willing heart to put my agenda aside & let Him lead.

Trusting & Praising...Even in the Hard!

Sitting here in a small, dark hospital room while my beautiful blonde is getting an iv infusion for her chronic migraines. Yesterday we came through these same hospital doors as well, not only for her but also for my handsome fifteen year old son who recently found out he has a large tumor on his thyroid. After seeing a specialist and getting a biopsy done we were sent home to wait for the results. The Dr seemed optimistic regardless of how the biopsy turns out. For that I am thankful.
 It's kind of interesting how I am feeling about all this. I'm not a babbling mess & I actually feel like we're going to be just fine through all this. I credit that to my Heavenly Father. I believe that each thing we go through in life can also be a life lesson for us and help prepare us for things we may go through later in our life. I think if I would've never been faced with health challenges with my kids before this would've rocked my world more than it is. But with the challenges our family has already faced, I believe they've helped to prepare us for where we are today & how we approach this new journey we're being asked to walk down. Don't get me wrong. I'm still a very concerned momma & would do anything to protect my babies, but I have a deep feeling inside me that God's got this & we're going to be alright. My babies ultimately belong to Him & I just get the awesome privilege of being their momma.
My heart & desire through all this is that others would see Jesus in us. In how we talk, act, handle our new journey, etc... That doesn't mean that we have to have it all together or that we can't shed a tear. Jesus relied on His Heavenly Father and even sweated blood through His prayers. I want us to be real & realize we have no control over this but our Savior does. Trusting more & worrying less. Going before the throne room of God more & our minds racing in a thousand directions less. I've learned in life that sometimes the sweetest moments we have with the Lord can sometimes be when we're asked to go through some of the hardest times. Believe me, I'm not asking for hard times. But let's be honest. Hard times are going to come & for our family, hard times are here. So in the hard I want to thank Him. In the hard I want to praise Him. In the hard I want others to see Jesus in us & if they don't know Him my prayer is they'll want Him too.

Not just a birdhouse, but a HOME!!!

Love this quote! As I'm sharing this quote with you my sweet husband is in his workshop building something with our new little guy. I can hear them from afar and am excited to hear about their adventure from the heart of an eight year old little boy who has longed for these types of moments in his life. Someone to give him a chance and accept him for who he is, including his behaviors due to so much past traumas. This road of healing is not easy by far, but I am so thankful we can be a small part of showing Jesus' love to this little guy. That he can know that no matter what he faces in his life, he doesn't have to face it alone. They just came upstairs to show me the finished product and it was a birdhouse. He was so excited to show me. My husband shared with him about how God takes care of the sparrows and how he also takes care of us. They were able to be a part of God's plan by building a home for the sparrows just like we were a part of God's plan by providing a home for him. This is his home. Our home together!!!

Roles in our lives that God uses as an act of worship to Him!!!

During my devotions this morning God revealed Truth to my heart in a way that helped release some of the mental struggles I have been dealing with lately.
 In early January our family dynamics drastically changed when we opened our home to a young boy who has special needs. Going into this placement I felt pretty well prepared because of our past experiences and more recently our training through Empowered to Connect. All of which I will say has been very helpful. What I wasn't prepared for was the mental challenges I would face with trying to help this new child with all the struggles he has from past trauma and multiple placements. To be fair I will say that part of my mental challenges(exhaustion) is also from having other children in our home who have ongoing health issues who we see different doctors for. I will add in that even though it is exhausting at times I am thankful to have my children and be able to go to these appointments with them. Anyone who has several appointments every week can relate. Neurologists, sleep doctors, pediatricians, counselor, occupational therapist and now waiting to get into an endocrinologist for one of our kiddos. So when I add the new struggles our little guy is facing on top of all that my brain just wants to say, "hold up there, don't add anything else." One thing I have learned through the years that it is a very smart thing to ask for prayer and not feel like I need to face these challenges alone. Being vulnerable in putting myself out there for prayer or help is not always easy but it is necessary. It is also a beautiful picture of the body of Christ coming together and supporting each other. I have defiently felt the prayers of people praying. Just this morning I was reminded by a dear friend of her prayers through a text she sent me.
Back to what I was writing about earlier in God revealing Truth to my heart during my devotions this morning. In my Bible study this morning the passage was in John where Mary uses expensive oil to pour on Jesus' feet as an act of worship and in preparation for His burial.
John 12:3 "Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with fragrance of the perfume."  I have heard and read this passage probably several times before but today it held a different meaning for me. Through this the Lord revealed to me that my role as a wife to Nick and as a mother to all our children(regardless of how they got here) is an act of worship to Him. Specifically right now in my role as a mother to our new little guy as we try to help him through his various challenges & struggles. You might be thinking you should've already known that. Well knowing that(which I already did) and really letting it sink into your heart are two completely different things. My prayer is that as I serve and love on these precious people in my home I will be reminded that my service and love is ultimately an act of worship to the Lord. So when the days of frustration come I can be reminded that I serve an audience of ONE!!!
What does God have in your life right now that He is using as an act of worship to Him? I would love to hear about how He is working in your life.

Noises-An act of worship!

What do you define as a joyful noise? Birds chirping, children laughing, waves coming to the shore. Perhaps the voice of a loved one on the other end of your phone. Now what do you define as noise less joyful? Sirens blaring, people fighting, fingernails on a chalkboard. Perhaps the sound of something that repeats itself over & over again causing an annoyance. It's interesting how some noises can be joyful to one person & yet with that same noise it can be an annoyance to another. For instance hearing the sound of children laughing may be medicine to the soul for one person and grief to the heart for another who may have lost a child or aches for a child. Also how the sound of waves coming to shore can be relaxing to one person and scary to someone else who may have a fear of water. A lot of how we react to certain noises can be based off of our previous experiences in life.

This past week a lesson in how a noise is defined was different for people in our family. Our new little guy that has been living with us for less than a month struggles with being able to read well. I've noticed when we're at church and the worship songs are on the screen up front I will hear him make noises to go along with the songs, but it doesn't sound like he is singing the actual words. In the van the other night as our family was coming home from dinner our new little guy was trying to sing along to the song on the radio with "his noises." One of our other children at first thought he was messing around and just making annoying noises. It dawned on me that he was trying to sing the song with the way he knew how to sing it. If you don't know the words, then make up a tune or noise to go along with it anyways. Our other child was quick to understand and didn't say anything to him. God brought to my mind the verse from Psalm 100:1(KJV) Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. This got me thinking that even though we may not understand what our new little guy is singing when he worships in church, God does! God hears the sounds that come from his heart and I truly believe it is a beautiful act of worship unto the Lord. Makes me stop and examine my own heart and the noises that come forth from it. Are "my noises" a beautiful act of worship unto the Lord or am I more concerned with what others think of "my noises." Dear Jesus, may they be a beautiful act of worship unto You!!!!!!!

Enough "manna" for the day!

This past week and a half has been overwhelming to say the least. It started last week with a phone call from our local child protective services(cps) about a child that needed a home. Everytime I get this call my heart is filled with mixed emotions. I'm excited to be able to help another child and then the reality sets in that our family dynamics are changing again and I honestly feel like vomiting. This is where I should trust the saying, "don't trust your feelings," comes into place. Our feelings seem to be all over the place where God's Word is firm and steadfast and something we can put our trust in. It doesn't waver back and forth like our feelings do. The first week was filled with getting to know each other and appointment after appointment. This second week we're trying to get into a routine with school. Some days have been more successful than others, but that's a typical part of this journey. My heart was starting to feel quite overwhelmed. Not with his behaviors but more with the responsiblity of what parenting his heart looked like. I too needed to get back into a routine. I guess we're all creatures of habit to some degree. I know from experience that my greatest source of strength is when I spend quality one on one time with the Lord. He helps me put things into perspective that I cannot do on my own. His Word is a boost to my soul & time spent chatting with Him is a much needed counseling session. Yesterday as I continued to struggle with getting back into some kind of "normal" routine the Lord brought just what I needed. Enough "manna" for my day. I love how He showed His faithfulness to the Israelites years ago when they were wondering in the wilderness, and I love how He continues to show that same faithfulness now to my heart today. Manna that He brought to my heart yesterday looked a little different than the manna the Israelites partook of. My manna consisted of encouragment from a friend with a song that the Lord had laid on her heart to share with me. Wow! Did the tears start to fall and I could instantly start to feel healing start to happen in my overwhelmed heart. I do believe this song will be "my song" to cling to along this journey. Later that evening a text came through from another friend who felt led to bring a meal for a family today. What? Another outpouring of love and this time in the form of allowing me to relax from a labor. Perfect timing too as Thursday evenings Nick & I have been teaching a training to foster, adoptive & kinship caregivers. Now I can focus on preparing for class and spending time with my kids after school without trying to figure out what's for dinner or taking the time to cook it. I am astounded time after time how the Lord loves His children, and how He uses different people to love on His children as well. It's amazing how a song & a meal can be just what my heart needed for the day and even more amazing that God knew I needed that and sent "manna" to encourage my weary soul.

Great start to Empowered to Connect class!!!

Last evening we had a great start to our Empowered to Connect, the connect course, classes that help bring healing to our kiddos that come from hard places. We loved serving the couples that attended & look forward to continuing to grow together in these weeks to come. It so amazes me how God uses ordinary people like us to help further His Kingdom. So thankful!!! God is so good!!!!!!! We will be offering this class again in the fall. It is a 9 week course that is life changing! We also are implementing these principles each month at our support meetings for foster, adopt & kinship families.We usually cover 1-2 principles each month depending on time. We meet the 3rd Tuesday of every month at Bethel Baptist Church in Savannah from 6:30-8:30pm. We would love to have you come!!!

Jesus is Christmas!!!

Two more days & we will set the day aside to gather with family & friends & celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!!! My daughter made the cupcakes today for Jesus' birthday & we've been busy cooking & baking & preparing gifts to share with those we love. As I type this blog I sit in front of a stained glass nativity scene my parents gave us & the beauty of it helps keep my heart focused on what really matters this Christmas season. Of course I love to watch Christmas movies(Mickey's Christmas Carol especially), bake cookies(frosted cut outs), shop for others, attend family gatherings, etc... but in the quiet moments when the world slows down & God reminds my heart that even if I didn't have any of those previous things I mentioned Christmas would still be Christmas. Jesus is Christmas & since I have a personal relationship with Him, I have Christmas!!!

I was reading in a book called, "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan today & there was a section where he wrote about a family that went around on Christmas morning sharing hot pancakes & coffee with the homeless in their community, and how their three children look forward to this every year. Another section he shared one of my favorite verses: Matthew 25:40 "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." It's beautiful how those two sections go hand in hand together. So this Christmas season as we enjoy precious time with our loved ones & fill our stomach's with yummy food, may we be sensitive to remember that there are others in our community that may be less fortunate than we are. May we be willing to share a smile, give a blanket, serve a meal or open our home to "one of the least of these." In doing so I believe we're ultimately sharing Christmas(JESUS) with them.

Empowered to Connect training classes starting SOON!

We will be teaching a training from Empowered to Connect, called the connect course, starting January 5th, 2017. We will meet on Thursday evenings from 6:30-8:30pm at Bethel Baptist Church in Savannah. This training is open to foster, adoptive & kinship families. The training is a nine week course based on the work of the late Dr. Karyn Purvis & Empowered to Connect. We will meet together 2 hours each week & you will have approximately 2 hours of homework as well to complete each week. Believe us the time spent in and out of class is well worth it. This training has been life changing in our home. It helps us to better understand & serve our children that come from hard places. It has also been beneficial with our biological children as well. There is a cost involved & materials need to be ordered soon so please contact us if you're interested in attending the training. We would love to see you there!

Orphan Sunday-November 13th, 2016

Sunday, November 13th is Orphan Sunday. We encourage you to get involved with Orphan Sunday with your local church in some way. There is free printable materials on orphansunday.org you can download & print off to share with others. There is also a video you can play during your service. Bringing awareness about orphan care is very near & dear to the heart of God. James 1:27 says  "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." If orphan care is important to God, it should be important to us. Please take time on Sunday, November 13th to share with your church & others about Orphan Sunday & pray for the orphans around the world, including the ones in your own neighborhood. Everyone can get involved in some way. What will you do to reach out to the "least of these?" Feel free to contact us with any questions or ideas you have to get involved in orphan care. Also please feel free to share with us what your church is doing for orphan Sunday this year. Together, we can make a difference!!!

    

The GRACE Factor

The Grace Factor... This has been something the Lord has been shaping & molding my heart on more & more the older I get & the more time I spend with Him. In a world with so many rules, grace often gets overlooked. There's rules in society, in our homes, in our schools, in our churches, etc... and a lot of those rules are important, even necessary to keep everyone safe. There's also a lot of rules that we like to make up to have control or authority over someone else in a way that is not helpful, or necessary. A power struggle. A battle that may not be worth fighting but we fight it anyways because we're more concerned with winning every battle than winning the war. I speak from experience, not judgment. But if we put our focus on always winning every battle & not the heart of that person, we've failed them. The perfect example of Someone who does the "Grace Factor" right is God! It amazes me how He can create the entire world in less than a week(7th day rested), including the sun, moon, stars, oceans, humans, etc.. but yet He is interested in what goes on in my everyday life. He relentlessly pursues my heart, even when I reject Him. He looks at winning the war in my heart, over beating me down over every little battle I mess up on. His example to me has opened a door of grace for me to be able to show that same love to my children & any children that come to live in our home. To be honest I haven't always done the best at this when some of their behavior's went against what I thought they should look like. I too, am a work in progress. But more & more God beckons on the door of my heart to show grace. Even though there are still some rules that need to stay in place & be enforced, grace should still always come out on top. Even if my child is being unruly. Even if someone frustrates me. Even if I know what they're doing is wrong. Grace still always needs to come out on top. That doesn't mean there is no discipline or admonishment, but it does mean that while disciplining or admonishing we're looking at the heart of that person & are more concerned with their heart, over us winning the battle.

"Grace, grace, God's grace,

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God's grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!"

(lyrics from the hymn "Grace Greater than Our Sin," by Julia H. Johnston)