To Help or Hurt?

Our unique hands that God has given us can be used for helping or hurting. That was the topic of the conversation I had with a sweet little 6 year old today that needed some reminding. When I first heard about how she used her hands for hurting, I started thinking about how I needed to handle this situation so she knew it was not ok to hurt with her hands. At first I started thinking about what consequence I needed to give. Old ways like time outs, no dessert, no tv, earlier bedtime started to pop up in my head. But then grace came in. My heart knew that time outs are not beneficial for children that have come from hard places. Losing dessert would tie this back to food & this sweet little girl needed to know she would always have food with us. No tv didn't make sense because the action had nothing to do with tv. Also going to bed early would only make her feel like I didn't want her around. It would be different if I knew her little body was tired and needed some extra rest. I thought about what she used to do the wrong action. She used her hands. I wanted to get across to her little heart that our hands are for helping not hurting. I waited to talk to her about this until after we were home from school, homework was done & she had her snack. I knew this could turn emotional real quick & I didn't want to set her up to fail if I talked to her without her having a snack first. This was also a learning moment for the other kids that were around. We sat on the couch and talked. She needed to be reassured of my love for her even though she did something wrong. So thankful my Savior does the same thing for me & so graciously allowed me to share that love with this sweet little heart. After our talk she used her hands to help by writing an apology letter & drawing a picture for the child she hurt & then she used her hands to be a helper by helping to fold towels. She was excited to use her hands to help. After she was done I asked her what she liked better. To use her hands to hurt or to help? She said to help. We said a little saying together a couple times, "hands are made for helping, not hurting." I reassured her once again of my love for her & then she went to play. In the past my heart would have been quick to crush instead of quick to show grace. I am so thankful that God continues to mold & shape my heart to become more & more like His Son Jesus. He so graciously teaches our hearts & reassures us of His love for us over & over again.

Extending Grace & Forgiveness

This morning during my devotion time I was reading from the book Fervent, by Priscilla Shirer. The chapter I read today was titled, "Your Hurts... Turning bitterness into forgiveness." First off let me tell you this book has been a blessing in my life. The way God has gifted Priscilla to write & reach my heart is life changing. Her book is full of scripture too. I love that. I don't need to hear someone else's opinion but I need to be pointed to the One who has the answers. She does that so graciously in her book.

While reading & praying this morning I felt God prompting my heart to blog about a recent experience where I struggled with forgiveness. I was hoping it was just a thought but the longer I kept reading & praying I knew it wasn't just a thought but a command that I needed to be obedient too.

Recently someone I have known for years said something very hurtful about someone that is very dear to my heart. I will not mention names & please don't ask. I'll be honest I was very angry & in my flesh I wanted to give that person a piece of my mind. How dare they say such awful things about someone I love. Things I had known about that person came into question & I found myself stewing over what I wanted to say to them, or playing out scenarios in my head of speaking my mind to them.

That's where grace & forgiveness came in.  Believe me my flesh didn't want anything to do with that, but my Spirit knew God was prompting my heart to extend the same grace & forgiveness to this person as Christ has shown to me for my sins. Colossians 3:12-13 "As those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you."
 I also love this next part that is out of the book Fervent. "Listen, God knows how to deal with sin. Our sin, their sin. When you choose to forgive someone, you're not wiping their actions away as if the bad things didn't happen, giving people a free pass from the harm they've caused. You're just sparing yourself the burden of working two extra jobs-being judge and jury for how justice is meted out in this situation. Why not let someone relieve you of the pressure-Someone who actually knows what He's doing? And Someone who's just waiting right now to talk with you about it?"

Amen for truth!!! Amen for God's persistent leading in our lives to bring us back where we can be in close, intimate relationship with Him instead of worshipping from a distance. Forgiveness doesn't mean that it was ok for that person to hurt the person I love. Forgiveness is leaving my hurt, their hurt at the feet of Jesus & resting in His work that He already completed on the cross. Forgiveness is obedience to the One who paid it all for me so that I could be with Him. As I prayed this morning I asked the Lord to genuinely help me to forgive this person. Not just to forgive them because that's the right thing to do, but to genuinely forgive them as a heart that wants to become more & more like Jesus. Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Is there someone in your life that God is asking you to extend grace & forgiveness to? Dear friend, it is not easy. But if we want to become more & more like Jesus and have that same grace & forgiveness extended to us it is necessary. I encourage you to leave it all at the feet of Jesus and when the evil one tries to throw it back up again in your face(and he will) cling to Jesus my friend. What He did on the cross is enough to not only cover your sin but anyone who sins against you.

Change of plans...

This summer has been a summer of homework, fun with family & friends & a change of plans. I originally had planned to return to the school that I worked at as an Educational Aide. I love my job & the staff & students I serve there. Then the change of plans came. My hubby & I both felt like God was calling my heart back home again. With four kiddos, two being seniors this year, and a desire to open our home up again to children that come from hard places, this made sense. Sense spiritually but not economically. In the past when we would take in kiddos from hard places & I worked outside the home it made it very difficult to do things well. We have also been going through training this past summer through Texas Christian University's child development program called Empowered to Connect, and just finished up 7 weeks of homework. We head out to Jersey this week to do more training with others who are like minded. We're very excited about this as we know that foster & adoption ministry is a calling that God has placed on our lives. Even when we need to take a break, He eventually draws our hearts back in. I love His grace on our lives!!! I have had mixed feelings about my change of plans. I know my time at the school was very important. I believe God used me to share His love with others there & I too was blessed by those I worked with & served there. That is why this decision was so hard. It was like I had 2 good choices, not one bad & one good. So I prayed about choosing the direction at this point in my life that I could bring the most glory to God. I wouldn't be surprised if my journey takes me back to the school at some point, but for now my journey is keeping me at home. I love that I will be available for our kiddos more, be able to take in kiddos that come from hard places & share the wonderful training we're receiving with other families to help encourage them on their journey. This journey was one of stepping out on faith. I believed in my heart God was drawing my heart home again but that He was going to have the decision be one of trusting Him & not having all the answers as I stepped out on faith. So here's to my new journey & being open to using whatever talents God has given me to bring glory to Him & further His kingdom. When it's all said & done that's what's most important in my life. Living it for HIM!!!

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say "I used everything you gave me." - Erma Bombeck

ALL children are a blessing from the Lord!!!

Snooze or Lose

Snooze or Lose

Using Time In Instead of Time Out

Homework in the summer? Whoever heard of such a thing?

Homework in the summer? Whoever heard of such a thing? Well this summer that is exactly what Nick & I are doing. We just started our third week of "homework" to be able to train & mentor other families in parenting children that come from hard places. The neat thing about this training is we're finding it is beneficial for all children & parents: biological, foster or adopted. This training comes from Empowered to Connect by Dr. Karyn Purvis and the staff at TCU institute of child development. You might have heard of her book, "The Connected Child." Along with information from Dr. Karyn Purvis' work we're also reading many other great books on fostering, adopting and parenting. As we go through our "homework" we're finding we would've loved to have had this information available to us years ago. We're very passionate about helping other families and look forward to what God has in store with using this material and our open hearts to reach more families for Him and encourage them as they parent. After this week we will have 5 more weeks of "homework" then we will travel to New Jersey for three days of training with the other families that are also doing "homework" this summer. Looking forward to meeting more people that have the same passion we do. Please keep us in your prayers as this requires quite a bit of time to complete. Please pray especially for my hubby as he works long days, then comes home to try to juggle time with us and do his "homework." We want to be faithful in what God has called us to do. Thank you!