I read an interesting blog the other day from an adoptive dad that keeps tugging at my heart strings. The blog talked about the affects of having foster children in your home on your biological children. As you can imagine this is something we have heard about for years. Some people mean well when they share their opinions with you about how they feel what you're doing will affect your children while others come across rude and hurtful. I really believe deep down most people don't mean to come across hurtful, they're just uneducated about the subject. That is why I have been feeling led to share about our own family's experience.
With being foster/adoptive parents for 6+ years and having around 30+ children come and go through our home you can imagine we have experienced a lot of different situations and met a lot of people along the way. Yes some situations were harder to go through than others but I wouldn't change anything. At the time I may have felt differently but looking back now I realize if I changed anything our family may have missed out on something the Lord was trying to teach us or to use our family to reach others for Him.
My honest opinion is our children are far better off from having foster children come and live in our home than if we would've chose not to. Have our children been excited about every child coming, or when the children they have grown to love and bond with leave? Absolutely not! Our children have real feelings just like my husband and I do. We are big on family meetings and we take their feelings in consideration about fostering and adopting. They know the final decision falls on their father and I but we value their opinions. This ministry is a family ministry so we want them to feel a part of it as well.
What is awesome to see from a parental perspective is when new children come to our home seeing our children welcome them with open arms even if they don't quite understand what's going on with the situation. They don't overwhelm the new children but they let them settle in and are there for them as they feel ready. Our children are great about sharing whatever they have to help welcome the new child or children in and make them feel a part of our family. One big thing our children share is my husband and I. We try to make sure we spend quality time with everyone but sometimes when hurt children come to our home they need a little extra tender, loving care for awhile. Our children are great about sharing us so we can share the love of Jesus with these new kiddos. Sometimes though the new children can relate better to one of our children than to my husband or I so our kids will spend time talking with them or helping them with whatever they're going through. This is a blessing because it gives our children an opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus to these hurt children.
So yes I realize our children have went through some hard times with us fostering and adopting. I remember when they cried tear after tear because someone they had grown to love had to leave our home. I remember when I had to break up a fight or argument between some of them. I remember when our younger children learned life lessons from when some of the older kids that came to live with us messed up. But, I also remember seeing the kids playing out in the snow together building a snowman. I remember when our adoptive daughter learned how to read a recipe and bake something. I remember seeing the kids play together and laugh together and become friends and sisters and brothers. Not by blood but by love. So even though our children have experienced pain along this journey it has not been in vain. The pain has pointed them to the One who can heal their broken hearts, restore relationships and change lives for eternity, JESUS CHRIST! My desire as a mother is that my children love and want Jesus above everything else in their life. So as much as it hurts me to see them hurt at times, if this temporary pain makes them more like Jesus than it is well worth it.
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