Recently suffering knocked on our family's door. Something so unexpected we never seen it coming. As awful as physical suffering can be, mental suffering is no walk in the park. Rejected by someone you love so dearly cuts right through your heart like a sharp knife. So many emotions surface during our times of suffering. Sadness, anger, mourning, questioning, and so many more. Some days you feel like you can handle this and other days you can barely breathe. One thing I have learned through my thirty-eight years of life is that God does not waste our pain.
One of my dearest friends sent me a devotional during my time of suffering that encouraged me to look for God in my circumstances. When we're hurting it does not come natural to look for the positives but instead to focus on the negatives. Things out of our control. I chose to take my friend's advice and stopped and verbally said out loud the areas where I could see God at work in my suffering. There was actually quite a few areas. Of course I would never have originally signed up for rejection from someone I love to the point I would die for, but I am not responsible for their actions. I am however responsible for how I respond. Even in my suffering I can be obedient to God. I can look for Him working in my life and in my family's lives. As much as I wouldn't have chose this, being on this side of it, I wouldn't go back and change it. Some lessons are taught best during times of desperation where we relinquish all control and surrender at the feet of Jesus.
Our pain is not over. Our loved one continues to reject us, but we have chosen to look for God in our pain. To obey even when our flesh doesn't feel like it. To continue to love even though rejection may knock on our door again. To choose intimacy with Christ over comfort and to never give up on looking forward to the day our loved one comes home.
