Monday, April 22, 2019

Enough Grace For Today

I'm usually the type of person who wants to know all the details to whatever is going on so I can see the full picture. Otherwise known as a control freak. Why I'm this way I'm not a hundred percent sure. I have some guesses as to why, but in the end that doesn't change who I am. Usually if I have all the details I can make a thought through assumption as to what is going on or what is going to happen. I know assuming anything is not wise. If I have all the details as to what's going on in my children or husband's lives, I somehow think that everything will go better. Well, did that all change...

The past couple of years I've experienced a great deal of hurt and rejection from people that I love dearly. This post isn't about them, so please don't ask. Since I'm usually a person who wants to know all the details, you'd think knowing ahead of time everything that was going to happen would be beneficial for me. Well, actually it was quite the opposite. This has been one of those times where I am forever grateful to God, that in His wonderful mercy and grace, He spared sharing with me too many of the details. I'm sure He knew I wouldn't be able to handle the details, even though I was asking Him for them. I'm still on this journey, some healing has happened and some has not. I still look forward to the healing that's to come. I do however know now after looking back I probably would've ran if I had known all the details. I probably wouldn't have stuck around to see the healing. So since I tend to be a person who usually wants to know all the details, I also tend to be a person who usually "runs" when I don't know what else to do. Otherwise known as when I can't control the situation. Then there's God...

God in his perfect, compassionate heart knew that there were lessons my heart would never learn except to go through situations I had no control over. Now don't get me wrong. I don't believe for one minute that God marvels in people's hurts or rejections. I do however believe though that He chooses to use those times to bring glory to Himself and draw us closer to Him if we'll allow Him. As I mentioned earlier I am still on this journey of healing, but one thing that has stood out to me that I know I would not have learned except by walking through this pain, is that God is enough!!! Not just to say that God is enough, but to feel it down to my core that God is enough. That if the worst thing I could imagine possible came true, He would still be enough. That even if the healing I'm looking forward to this side of Heaven doesn't happen, He is still enough. I choose to praise Him and worship Him, even though I'm still longing for the rest of the healing. He is a good, good Father who I know without a doubt loves me for who He created me to be. His daughter! So what's next...

Don't be afraid to take off the mask. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to say no to things to focus on what matters most. Do however fix your eyes upon Jesus, learning in your heart and not just your mind, that He truly is enough!!!