Live on the victory side!

I love when I talk to people and they're open and vulnerable about what is going on in their lives. When they don't just say what they think you want to hear. Now mind you, you need to stick around to hear their response. There's no pretenses, just being who we are and not worrying about measuring up to man's standards but knowing that what defines us is who we are in Christ. Recently, actually today, the Lord has helped me understand about something I've been struggling with. I feel led to be open and share this with you all.

Without a doubt God is faithful and forever on His throne and I know that He loves me unconditionally. With all that said I also know we live in a sinful world and we will go through trials and struggles while we're here. More recently I have been stuggling with parts of our foster and adoptive ministry and feeling division in some relationships, particularly with one child. I didn't like the way I was feeling. I would pray about it and talk to others but really felt like I wasn't getting it and feeling delivered from this struggle. I had a dear friend pray with me at church on Sunday. Another dear friend texted me scripture today and a song to listen to by Chris Tomlin called, ”O Lord I need you.” After all the kids had left for school I poured out my heart to God. Before I share more let me remind you I am not sharing this to bring any praise to myself but to praise the One who has strengthened me and to encourage others to seek His face. I knew I needed to settle this with the Lord and as I cried out to Him I let everything else go around me; time, phone, chores, etc... This was top priority. During my time of seeking the Lord I tried with everything that was in me to lay it all at His feet. I knew nothing would change in my struggle unless God changed it. During our time together He revealed Himself, Truth, to me.

Recently I had also surrendered to God the control of pursuing about this little boy we were asked about adopting. I knew God was telling me not to call, text, nothing about this boy and if He wanted him here He would bring him and we would know this was from God. My husband felt the same way. God showed me today that my struggle had intensified after my surrender to Him about the adoption. He also reminded me this was a spiritual battle and even though it may be costly to obey Him, it is even more costly to disobey Him.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, ”My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

I know this battle isn't over but I also know that greater is HE that is in me than he that is in this world. Obeying the Lord is costly but not obeying Him is even more costly. My heart chooses to obey even though it means I will have struggles. Through the powerful name of Jesus I will choose to honor Him through my struggle.

James 1:2-4

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

I pray you are encouraged by my vulnerability and that you choose to seek the face of God with whatever you're going through. Life isn't always easy but we can live as victors because of Jesus Christ. Live on the victory side!