Wednesday, June 27, 2018

They're Ultimately His~

One of the most profound quotes I have ever read as a Momma. Little did I know that when I saved this quote around a year and a half ago that God would use it today to speak Truth to this Momma's heart. I don't know about you but I tend to be a control freak kindna momma. I want to know where my children are, who their with, what their eating, when they'll be home,etc... I also want to spend as much time with them as possible. I'd choose less money anyday over missing out on memories with my children. That's priceless in my book! Through the years I have learned lessons along the way about surrendering my children to the Lord and knowing that ultimately they are His. I've said goodbye countless times to foster children that God placed in our home for a season. My heart aches when they leave and sometimes I literally just crawl up in a fetal position and pour my tears out to a big God that can handle my human emotions. Then He picks me back up and speaks Truth to my heart about what He has called me to do, strengthening me for the next children He will bring. A child that needs me to be willing to sacrifice having a broken heart for them to know about Jesus and make wonderful memories in their childhood. To really know they're loved and wanted despite their circumstances. I do not take this calling lightly but consider it an act of worship to my Savior.
Back to the quote above. This quote is something God has recently asked me to do in a full surrender way with one of my children. As much as we can love someone we cannot make them accept that love or want that love. I found that my efforts of trying to pursue my child's heart, and receiving rejection upon rejection were not only taking an emotional toll on me by a physical toll on my body as well. That's when God started pressing on my heart even more to give my child back to Him, this time in full surrender. Holding nothing back. At first I questioned God wondering if He was really asking me to do this. I am this child's mother. Shouldn't I keep pursuing them at all costs? The answer is no. God has been showing me that all my children are His anyways and even when this one child is choosing to reject our love He is still enough to not only meet my child's needs but mine as well. He is perfectly able to put the people in their path that they need to speak Truth to their heart. As my heart started to embrace this more I started to feel a burden I had been carrying lifted. You see I wasn't suppose to be carrying this burden in the first place. I'm so thankful God revealed His Truth to me about that. So with God's strength I surrendered my child to Him. Praying and waiting for the day Lord willing that my prodigal will come home. When that day comes I will be here with open arms.

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